How to get kicked out of WalMart
by lanna-misssunshine
Summary: Bella and the Cullen's playing dares in WalMart, oh such fun... how much will they get away with before being tossed out? Read my notes story aswell, Ch61 is how this story started R
1. Chapter 1 To the Bat Mobile

A/N - Okay, one of the reviewers for my notes story gave me the idea of "how to get tossed out of Wal-mart" and I was originally gonna just make it into a notes chapter BUT, me being me… I got carried away and decided to make a new story out of it. (Please note that I've never set foot in a wal-mart, seeing as I'm not american so if they don't sell any of the stuff I might mention, pretend they do okay?)

So this story is for **teamedward1901** (who told me four of the ideas, that I might use in later chapters)

P.s. If you haven't read my notes story you probably wont get the nicknames they have for each other.

_-Lanna_

**To the Bat mobile**

"Come on Eddie… it'll be fun"

"I highly doubt that Bella"

"Oh well, I could always amuse myself using Emmett's oh so wonderful idea of running with scissors and putting spoons in the plug sockets" Bella smirked seeing Edwards obvious look of horror before continuing…

"Puh-leeeeeeease come Edward… for me" She pouted and batted her eyelashes melting Edward's resistance and after letting out an exaggerated groan he says "Fine, okay I'll come"

"Woohoo! BATMAN! He said yes!" Bella screamed running out of the room stumbling occasionally to go find her partner in crime.

Five minutes later Bella, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and Edward stood in the Cullen living room. With Alice and Bella standing in front of a white board covered with an extensive and detailed plan of what was going to happen and in a very military-like fashion Alice whacks a ruler against the board one last time for dramatic effect before saying "Alright, everyone understand?"

Everyone answered yes with varying levels of enthusiasm and Emmett stood to attention and saluted the pixie-like vampire saying "Sir, yes Sir!" receiving a glare from Bella and Alice and a laugh from Jasper and Edward.

"Okay then… Pigeon, and minions… TO THE BATMOBILE!" Bella giggles and is scooped up by Edward and carried out to the Volvo, everyone else following with Emmett grumbling about being referred to as a "minion" the whole way.

When the car came to a stop in the wal-mart car park everyone got out and stood at the entrance looking into the store, all of them now looking very excited and hyper (including Edward, who was trying to hide it).

"Remind me why we're doing this again"

"Because it'll be fun Edward"

"And because our sister and you're fiancee are forcing us to-" Emmett stopped mid-sentence after being whacked upside the head by a giggling Alice.

"You wanted to play just as much as much as we did" Alice stuck out her tongue and grabbed Bella and Rose's hands, skipping through the automatic doors as they opened.

Edward, Jasper and Emmett all exchanged glances before shrugging and following the girls inside.

"Let the fun begin…"

A/N - Wow, it's been a while since I've written anything that wasn't in note form so it didn't work out so well (I didn't want to write it in a specific persons POV so I kept it in the 3rd person)… anyway, this was just really and intro chapter before the silly stuff begins.

Review if you want me to continue, cause I'd rather not waste my time writing this if people don't wanna read it. :o)

-Lanna


	2. Chapter 2 This isn't Russia

A/N - Alright, well this is the first time I've written in the 3rd person so I dunno if I'll be any good at it but I'll try my best. Annyway… so I made a list of all the dares/pranks they could do in wal-mart and I've came up with about 43 so far, which basically means if you all like the story and review then I will do roughly 40 chapters (or more if I get more ideas).

One more thing before I start the chapter, if any of you haven't read my notes story I'll put all the nicknames they have for each other in the bottom a/n.

-Lanna

****

This isn't Russia!

"Sooo…"

"Well…."

"Umm…"

"Enough of the monosyllables already and lets start the game" Alice said while bouncing excitedly, her eyes scanning the store quickly before turning back to her family.

"OOH! OH! I wanna start! Pleease Please Please let me go first I have the perfect dare to start with!"

"Fine alright you can start, Jeez calm down Emmett" Rosalie smirked at her husband who look about ready to burst with excitement before he turned grinning mischievously at Bella and Alice who looked to each other then turned back to Emmett with facial expressions that clearly said 'do your worst'…

After five minutes of whispering and giggling far enough away from the rest of the family, Emmett walk back over to the group, who were clearly all curious to find out what dare Emmett had come up with, while Alice ran to one of the isles as Bella fetched a shopping cart…

"So what is it you dared them to do exactly" Edward asked with a hint of worry in his voice about Bella's safety.

Emmett simply rolled his eyes smirking as he said "All will be revealed soon enough my brother, just relax and enjoy the show"

Right on cue Alice ran over to Bella holding some objects she had got from the isles and picked Bella up tossing her effortlessly into the shopping cart and handed her what looked like a map.

"Ready Pigeon?"

"I was born ready Batman! HUZZAH!" Both were giggling as they shoved two silly hats on their heads and turned to smirk at Emmett before turning back to each other and Bella shouted "GO GO GO GO!!!" while unfolding the map…

The rest of the Cullen's followed, watching in amusement as the pixie-like vampire sprinted at human speed with the shopping cart up and down random isles, while Bella screamed random directions…

"LEFT!… NOO! RIGHT!… Now go straight ahead and take another right when we pass the condoms then take two lefts when we reach the shoes!!!" Bella commanded while staring at the map in her hands (which just so happened to be a map of Russia)

Confused shoppers stared at the strange pair as they dashed up and down the isles, some laughing, others looking completely horrified as they jump out of the way of the speeding shopping cart…

"We're running out of time Batman!!!" the navigator in the shopping cart yelled at her "driver" as they almost crashed into a stack of boxes.

Edward, Rose, Emmett and Jasper continued to follow the two girls, laughing at their performance the whole time, until they pulled over the shopping cart to frantically ask an employee for directions, at which point Emmett was lying on the floor laughing bringing Jasper down with him…

"STOP!!! We've found it!" Bella said triumphantly and jumped out of the shopping cart (with the help of Alice), allowing the other four Cullen's to catch up again just in time to see her and Alice start piling toilet rolls into the cart.

When the cart was on the verge of overflowing Bella jumps onto the front of the cart clinging for dear life as Alice starts pushing again while shouting "TALLY-HO!" sprinting with the cart towards the check out…

The cashier gave the two girls a look, clearly questioning their sanity as they came to a halt and started unloading the contents of the shopping cart onto the conveyer-belt.

While the confused cashier rings up the many rolls of toilet paper, Bella and Alice consult the map again and just as the last few rolls of toilet paper were going through the check out Alice shrieks saying "DAMN IT! This isn't Russia!" and storms off, closely followed by Bella… leaving the cashier even more confused, and ever so slightly annoyed at the fact he had just wasted his time ringing up all those rolls of toilet paper for nothing…

"Sooo… I take it you all enjoyed the show then" Bella giggled as they reached the rest of their family who were all laughing hysterically, especially Emmett who was once again, on the floor doubled over with laughter as he was pointing at his little sisters and choking out something along the lines of "you looked ridiculous" and "I wish I had a camera"

Alice and Bella exchanged glances then turned to grin evilly at their big brother causing him to stop laughing abruptly and jump up, a worried look plastered on his face…

"Why are you two looking at me like that, it's creepy" He whined causing the two girls to grin wider.

"You do realise that its now our turn to come up with a dare don't you" Alice chirped as Emmett's eye's widened in horror.

"Awwh is big bad Captain Doofus scaywurd?" Bella teased grabbing one of his arms as Alice grabbed the other and they dragged him away from the group to give tell him his dare, he turned to Rosalie giving her one last pleading look which she responded to with a smirk and Alice whacked him upside the head making it perfectly clear he wasn't getting out of it.

"Well this should be fun…"

"What do you think they'll make him do?"

"I don't know, but it is Alice and Bella we're talking about here" Edward grinned at Jasper before turning his gaze back to Bella and smiling proudly at his evil-genius-fiancée.

"WHAT?! Nu-uh! No way! Not doing it!" Emmett shrieked and attempted to storm back over to the others but was stopped by Alice grabbing his ear (causing him to yelp in a very girl-like-manor) and Bella started threatening him saying if he backed out of the dare he would never hear the end of it and his forfeit-dare would be twice as bad.

Jasper and Edward were laughing at this sight when Emmett turned back to them, and stuck up one of his fingers in a not-so-friendly-gesture and glared at them as he stormed off into the changing rooms…

"Ahh there's nothing like the public humiliation of Captain Doofus on a Monday morning" Alice sang cheerfully as her and Bella skipped back over to the three amused vampires.. Who were now all waiting patiently to see what would happen when Emmett emerged from the changing rooms.

A/N - ICK! I suck at writing in the 3rd person POV! This chapter was so much funnier in my head, maybe it's better to imagine it as you read? Hmm… (It was basically Alice pushing Bella in a shopping cart around wal-mart like a crazy person, while Bella read a map of Russia and randomly shouted out insane directions, trying to find the toilet roll… the whole "This isn't Russia" part was just so they wouldn't have to buy the toilet roll, and because Emmett wanted to make them seem more insane and confuse the cashier)

Anyway, I said I'd add the nicknames they use, so here they are, for those of you that don't already know:

Batman - Alice

Pigeon - Bella (although, Rosalie calls her Bumble Bee sometimes)

Captain Doofus - Emmett

Eddie, Jazzy, Emmie etc… all self explanatory, Rosalie has the nickname "Goldie Locks" although I don't know if I'll use that at all (I only used it once or twice in the notes story)

Edward might be referred to as Wonderboy in later chapters…

Hmm, anyway, review even if its to tell me it sucks.

-Lanna


	3. Chapter 3 Against my religion

A/N - The last chapter got over 50 reviews! That is insane! (don't get me wrong, I mean insane in a good way, please keep reviewing -grins) alright, anyway… one of the reviewers pointed out that there isn't changing rooms in Wal-Mart but pretend there is (cause like I said before, I'm Scottish so I've never set foot in a Wal-Mart before) Emmett's dare was like funny in my head but I don't know how funny I'll be able to make it "on paper", but here goes my attempt…

-Lanna

****

Notes.

Rosalie, Edward and Jasper all stood anxiously staring at the entrance to the fitting rooms waiting to see what Emmett would have to do when he came out, too preoccupied to notice Alice and Bella exchange looks and start counting down.

"5... 4... 3... 2..." The two girls said at the same time and as they reached one Bella reached over to cover Alice's eyes while Alice did the same to her, just in time to hear the laughter and shocked gasps come from the other Cullen's when their bear-like brother emerged from the fitting rooms…

"OH DEAR GOD! He's NAKED!" Jasper yelled, accidentally causing passing customers to turn their heads towards the naked vampire who was now glaring at his brother and two sisters.

"Seriously, Alice, Bella… this is more a punishment for us than it is for him" Edward shuddered averting his eyes from Emmett.

Alice and Bella burst out laughing, each dropping their hands from the others eyes and Alice choked out between giggles "Oh you haven't seen his whole dare yet, just keep your eyes on his waste up and watch…"

Doing as he was told Edward turns back to his brother in time to see Rosalie toss him a inflatable rubber ring ordering him to put it round his waste to hide his "private parts" which he gladly does (making him look even more ridiculous that before, seeing as the rubber ring was designed for a child and was bright yellow with a duck head on the front).

The Cullen's and Bella then proceeded to follow the practically naked Emmett down the isles, with Jasper and Edward bursting into a fit of laughter upon seeing "FREE HUGS" written on his back in what looked like, eyeliner…

Muttering under his breath about how he will get back at Batman and Pigeon for this, Emmett strutted down the isle arms wide asking every customer he passed for a hug, some blushing, others giggling (although they were soon silenced by a glare from Rosalie) while others ran away (a few of them screaming).

About five minutes, 6 isles and 15 rejected hugs later a stern-looking employee walked down the isle towards Emmett, only barely resisting the urge to stare at the perfect vampire…

"I'm sorry Sir but I'm going to have to ask you to either leave or put some clothes on" the man said trying to keep his eyes focussed on Emmett's head, while Bella and the other Cullen's stood a few feet away trying to stifle their laughter.

"WHAT?! That is discrimination! I'm going to sue!" Emmett screeched waving his arms about like a mad-man.

"It is not discrimination I am merely asking you to-"

"Oh! I get it! My nakedness offends you!" Emmett interrupted the shocked Wal-Mart employee who was clearly trying to hide the fact he was intimidated "Wearing clothes is against my religion!" he finished with a quick glare at Alice and the red-face-giggling Bella.

"And what religion might that be?" the man asked in a disbelieving tone with his eyebrow almost touching his hair line.

"Umm… Neked-Emmie-anity?" Emmett said making it sound more like a question than an answer causing his family to stop trying to hide their amusement and start laughing hysterically an very loudly, momentarily making the employee to turn his gaze to them and off Emmett.

Taking the distraction as his cue to leave Emmett runs back in the direction of the fitting rooms to put his clothes on, almost knocking over about 5 shoppers in the process who had gathered in a circle to watch the confrontation unfold.

Five minutes later Emmett emerged from the fitting rooms again, this time fully dressed and glaring daggers at his family, obviously annoyed at his humiliation.

"You know, I think I might have to change religion now" Rosalie whispered seductively into her husbands ear too low for the others to hear, instantly brightening his mood…

Edward, holding Bella up while she clutched her sides giggling was smirking at his brother until Emmett turned grinning evilly at him and said "Oh you can smirk all you want Eddie-boy, but you're up next"

Edward turned at least 2 shades paler, which is hard to do even for a vampire and let Bella fall from his grasp "Aww crap" he muttered as Emmett snatched his arm and dragged him away from Rosalie, Jasper and Alice who was picking the giggling Bella up off the floor.

"This should be interesting…" Rosalie giggled watching her husband drag her brother away…

A/N - Haha ookay, like I said… the dare was funnier in my head, it really helps to imagine it while you read, hmm… anyway, I'll try and add the next chapter today, or tomorrow so review and let me know what you think, if you have an idea of something you would like to see in a chapter, then tell me… but I don't know if I'll use any of them until I've finished with the ideas I already have (which is like 40).

-Lanna


	4. Chapter 4 Dance Dance

A/N - Ha, okay so nearly every reviewer of the last chapter told me that Wal-Mart does have changing rooms, so the one reviewer that told me they didn't was obviously wrong -shrugs- anyway, Edward dare isn't so good (I have like a list of set dares for them all, they all have at least 5 dares each) and I chose a kinda sucky one from Edwards list to do first… purely because there was a funny line I wanted to use (I'll tell you what line it is at the bottom, well… it's funny to me at least) I'll shut up now and get on with the chapter…

Oh and to the person to who reviewed purely to say that they are "very OOC", I'm well aware of that fact, if you don't like that they're OOC them the solution is simple, don't read the story. :o)

-Lanna

****

Dance, Dance.

"No way Emmett, I'm not doing it" Edward growled stomping away from his brother.

He spun around suddenly glaring at Emmett "You will not even THINK about making Bella do that Emmett" he snapped after hearing some unpleasant thoughts for Bella's next dare.

Emmett clearly amused, just shrugged his shoulders and replied "Then step up and do your dare then" causing the bronze-haired vampire to glare at him even more and slump his shoulders in defeat as he stormed over to the isle with the CD players and radios while muttering incoherent insults aimed at Emmett under his breath the whole time.

Not wanting to miss "the show" Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett all quickly followed, and after tripping over her own feet twice trying to keep up, Bella hopped onto Alice's back and rushed to the electronic department as well.

Coming to a stop at the end of the isle, Bella jumped down from Alice's back and stood beside the other Cullen's who were all facing Edward, while he walked over towards one of the shelves, throwing evil looks over his shoulder at Emmett every few seconds.

"What are you making him do?" Rosalie asked her grinning husband who just winked at her and turned her head back towards their brother just in time to see him fiddling about with the controls on the CD player…

A few seconds later Edward stepped away from the shelf and stood in the middle of the isle closing his eyes and taking a deep unneeded breath, bracing himself for what he was about to do…

His eyes snapped open glaring at Emmett just as music blasted out of the CD player…

"Toot that thang up mami, make it roll

Once you pop pop, lock it for me girl get low…"

Edward started dancing along to the song, and was drawing in quite an audience as shoppers formed a circle around the gorgeous vampire whose eyes were now focussed on Bella who was staring at him, mesmerized at the sight of her dancing fiancé.

"Pop lock and drop it, pop lock and drop it…"

The song continued and Edward was pop, lock and dropping it just like the lyrics said, causing Jasper to high five Emmett while laughing hysterically…

Female shoppers watched in awe, while the male's in the audience that had formed either glared in jealousy or laughed.

"What is going on here-" the manager trailed off as he weaved his way through the small crowd and spotted Edward, forgetting instantly the reason he came over…

"He dances as smoothly as butter on a bald monkey" Bella said, her eyes glued to Edward, not noticing her family laughing hysterically at her comment and their brother as he danced in a very girl-like fashion…

"What's yo name girl, neva mind neva mind

Do you thang girl fire, you ain't neva lied oh"

As the song came to an end, Edward dropped it one last time never taking his eyes off of Bella until he noticed the crowd were cheering and clapping, at which point, he ran over to his family, punching the laughing Emmett on the arm.

The manager, snapping out of his Edward-induced trance cleared his throat and started trying to make the crowd of shoppers that had congregated in the electronics isle, leave and continue with their shopping…

"I never knew you had it in you bro" Emmett choked out between laughter, while Rosalie giggled leaning against him side earning a glare from Edward.

Bella's face flushed bright red as Alice chirped "Well Pigeon definitely enjoyed the show, I think you've found your song Wonderboy" and in response Edward turned his glare to her, until he noticed Bella's blush then his glare turned into a smirk.

"Where'd you get that CD anyway?" Jasper asked eyebrows raised once he'd calmed down a bit.

"Ask Emmett, he's the one that gave me it" Edward shrugged and everyone turned to the still-laughing Emmett.

"Never leave the house without it… but what I'd rather know is... how did Eddie-boy here know all the moves in the first place" the giant vampire smirked.

Deciding not to ask him to elaborate his family just rolled their eyes, although they were all obviously curious about the second half of what he said but before anyone could ask about it Edward grabbed Jasper by the arm dragging him away from the group, clearly indicating that he was up next and that he had no intention of telling them why he knew the dance.

"Pay back is gonna be a bitch Emmett" Edward said as he passed Emmett causing him to gulp-audibly and a confused look to form on his face as he tried to figure out what Edward would make him do, and when…

A/N - Ha okay, I changed Edward's dare half way through (it was originally, to press all the buttons on the dancing Elmo's in the toy isle and dance along) I decided I liked the mental image of Edward pop, lock and dropping it (and it's even funnier because it's like a girly kinda sexy dance) hmm… anyway, the only reason I gave him that dare is because I wanted Bella to say "he dances as smoothly as butter on a bald monkey" (that makes me giggle) and Edward is usually so formal and proper, so geeing him go all "gansta"-ish would be funny…

P.s. Thanks for all the reviews, I can't believe I have over 100 and I've only done 3 chapters.

-Lanna


	5. Chapter 5 Sweet Transvestite

A/N - Could you all **go read and review my new story** (It's like the seven deadly sins with the Twilight characters, only its meant to be funny) please?

Umm, anyway… Jasper's dare is up next, you can thanks the fact I was just watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show for his dare -sighs happily-

-Lanna****

Sweet Transvestite.

"Oh… just! OH!"

"What's wrong Jazz… not _woman_ enough?" Edward teased, smirking at his glaring brother.

"You're pure evil! GRR! I'll do your stupid dare!" Jasper growled and sucked in a deep unneeded breath, puffing out his chest, then with his head held high he stormed over towards the cosmetics with a determined look on his face.

"What in the world are you having my husband do exactly" Alice questioned, eyebrows raised when the group walked over to join Edward in his pursuit of Jasper…

"You'll just have to wait and see Alice, wait and see" He grinned as she pouted at him, but did as he said and turned her gaze to her husband who was now staring at a shelf filled with make-up, looking thoroughly confused.

Reaching a shaking hand towards the tester, Jasper shot one pleading look towards his siblings before snatching up the little pot of eye shadow, and started applying it to his eyelids.

After about five minutes, the Cullen's and Bella who were all trying hard, but failing miserably to contain their laughter, they followed their 'brother' who was now relocating to the clothing department.

"Jasmine is one ugly girl!" Emmett choked out, causing Jasper to snap his head round to glare at him, using a look that would normally have someone cowering in a corner but seemed to have the opposite effect seeing as the blond vampire was now wearing red glittering eye shadow, matching ruby red lip stick, mascara and so much blush on his cheeks he could put Bella to shame.

Rolling his eyes at his laughing brother, Jasper continued his journey towards the clothes.

He scanned the rows of shoes, looking for an appropriate pair for the occasion in his size when Edward cleared his throat and indicated with a long pale finger towards a pair of 5 inch red stilettos.

Groaning in annoyance, Jasper reluctantly picked up the shoes in his size and put them on, replacing his own shoes, handing them to Alice who was watching her husband with a mixture of pity and amusement…

"Is this all you're making him do?" Bella asked Edward as tears of laughter streamed down her face, he just winked and grinned as he grabbed her hand and pulled her after Jasper who was now raiding through racks of what looked like… skirts?

Four laughing fits from Emmett, about a million glares at Edward and two garments later, Jasper was walking towards a cluster of teenagers who were looking at CD's, not noticing the cross-dressed vampire heading in their direction…

"Hi, I'm Jasmine… could you tell me if my butt looks big in this, I could really use a male opinion" Jasper asked in a girly voice, clearly getting his inspiration from Alice…

A few of the group snickered immediately, while the rest didn't know what to make of the situation so just looked him up and down taking in his appearance.

He was wearing a flowing, knee length blue gypsy skirt, that looked even more ridiculous because he had paired it with a leopard print bra, that he was wearing over his t-shirt and the red stilettos he had on made him look even lankier than he already was…

"Uh… umm… well" One of the teenage boys stuttered, then shot a pleading look at his friends when he was unable to form a coherent sentence.

"Okay, thanks for your opinions I really appreciate it bye!" Jasper said in a rush, running at human speed away from the stunned and confused group, with impressive grace considering his attire.

Alice and Bella having given up on trying to stifle their laughter were now full-out giggling on the floor outside the changing rooms while they waited for Jasper to come out.

Rosalie was propped up against Emmett's side, both of them laughing while Edward was just leaning casually against the wall, grinning triumphantly…

When Jasper walked, his face clear of all traces of make-up and wearing his regular clothes again, Alice hopped up off the floor and skipped over to him grinning…

"You know Jazz… I always loved the Rocky Horror Picture Show" She said flirtatiously, her arms wrapped around her waist.

Leaning down to her ear Jasper whispered in a seductive voice "I'm just a sweet transvestite, from transsexual Transylvania"

Alice giggled into her husbands chest oblivious to her family laughing at their conversation…

"Sooo… who is up next" Jasper asked.

All heads turned towards Rosalie who instantly stopped laughing, and her eyes widened as an evil smile worked its way onto Jaspers face…

A/N - Well, I don't particularly like this chapter (except for the whole Jasper in drag thing… I dunno why I find that idea attractive, ha… seriously, I blame The Rocky Horror Picture Show) he was originally just meant to try on loads of different bras and ask customers if they thought he looked sexy but I changed it half way through -shrugs-

Review please, they make me smile. :o)

-Lanna

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	6. Chapter 6 Agent Rose

A/N - Sorry I haven't updated in a while… I've just not been in the mood to write this (and I'm still not, but I said I would update like last weekend) hmm… anyway, I'll write the next chapter right after I finish this one, so review and I'll get the next one up when I can.

Oh and I have absolutely no idea if Wal-Mart sells food, but lets pretend they do okay. :o)

-Lanna

****

Agent Rose.

"HA! You call that a dare?!"

"Yes Rose… and it's a very good dare!"

"No Jazz it's not… come on you can do better than that, I want something good!" Rosalie said, smirking at her brothers obvious annoyance at the fact she had rejected the last three dares he came up with claiming they were _lame, stupid, too easy_…

Jasper took a deep breath glaring at the blonde vampire in front of him and leaned in again, whispering something too low for anyone else to hear.

"Now THAT is a dare, this should be fun" Rose grinned and almost ran to the clothing department.

"Emmett, I pity you, your wife could make a nun swear" Jasper huffed as he rejoined his family while they walked in the direction the blonde vampire had run off to.

"I know" Emmett said in a proud voice, with a dreamy look plastered on his face, causing everyone to roll their eyes.

When they reached the clothing aisles, they found Rosalie happily pulling numerous items of black clothing of the racks, after a few minutes of silence she turned, grinning at her family and said "Stay!" before dashing off again in the direction of the fitting rooms.

"What did you dare her to do exactly?" Bella asked, her face scrunched up in confusion.

"Ch'yeah, like I'd really tell you… just wait and see" Jasper smirked down at her.

"Pfft, you're mean…" She huffed folding her arms across her chest.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you patience is a virtue?" Jasper teased, and his smirk widened sensing her growing annoyance.

"Yeah well it's a virtue I don't have!"

"Well you won't have to wait much longer, here she comes" Edward murmured into her ear causing her to shiver.

All eyes turned in the direction of the fitting rooms where Rose had just emerged, wearing a black beanie hat, a black turtle neck jumper, black trousers tucked into black boots that looked about 2 sizes too big for her, and on her face she had smeared what looked like brown eye shadow on her cheeks, like war paint…

Everyone looked from Rose to Jasper and back again, wondering why he dared her to dress like that but Jasper just flashed them a mysterious smile and grabbed Alice's hand, pulling her in the direction Rose had just headed.

Bella squealed in fright when they reached the end of the food aisle when Rose jumped out, holding a banana out in front of her like a gun saying "The names Cullen, Rose Cullen"

After a few seconds on staring in disbelief, the group erupted in laughter and Rose, taking that as her cue to start the next part of her dare started walking down the aisles, peeking round the corners suspiciously and pointing her banana-gun at any shoppers who happened to look her way…

She continued like this for about five minutes, all the while, humming the mission impossible theme tune very loudly, occasionally doing a sideways roll and crouching down to glare at people through the gaps in the shelves between aisles.

Bella, having been unable to walk any longer from laughing so much, and was being carried by Edward nearly jumped out of his arms when Rose suddenly started shouting waving her banana about wildly.

"HE'S GOT A GUN! HE'S GOT A GUN" She screamed gesturing towards and old man who had just picked up a drill in the hardware department.

There were a few shocked gasps and three of the customers dropped the items in their hands and ducked down behind their shopping carts.

The old man, turned round to see what all the commotion was about, with the drill still in his hand, pointing in the general direction of a teenage boy, who was wearing glasses and had an obvious acne problem.

"Nooooooooo" Rose shouted, dragging out the 'o' sound as she dived towards the boy, knocking him to the ground as if in slow motion…

The boy was unharmed, but looked shocked at the fact some random person had just pounced on him, but upon seeing the gorgeous vampire on top of him his shocked face turned into what was probably meant to be a seductive smile…

Jumping up almost too fast for a human, Rose rolled her eyes, dusted off her hands saying "Well, my work here is done!" and with a flip of her hair she was gone, rushing back towards the fitting rooms.

"Jazz that was brilliant! That last part with the old man… priceless" Edward patted his brother on the back.

"Oh, that part was all Rose, that wasn't even part of the dare" Jasper said, his laughter dying down a bit.

"Interesting" Alice started and when her family all turned to look at her she continued "Well, I always figured Rose loved the James Bond movies because she thought the guys were hot, but apparently not"

Looks of realisation spread across the faces of Jasper, Edward and Emmett… Emmett's slowly turning to relief.

"So she doesn't think James Bond is hot?" He questioned, gleefully.

But it wasn't Alice that answered…

"Eugh no! He is such an amateur, pfft… spy?! As if! I am a much better spy!" Rose grinned triumphantly, ignoring the weird looks she was getting from her family because she was still holding the banana-gun…

"What, it makes me feel cool!" She shrugged, grabbing Alice's hand and dragging her away from the group.

"So I take it Alice is up next" Bella grinned up at Edward…

A/N - Well, I don't know if it was that good… anyway, the next chapter, I decided to do a dare that someone suggested in a review a while ago and if you all review I'll try my very best to get that added tonight or tomorrow. :o)

P.s. You should all look up Twilight on uncyclopedia DOT com… it's soooo funny.

-Lanna


	7. Chapter 7 Tinkerbelle

A/N - Well, I was going to use up all my own ideas before starting on any of the chapters suggested by reviewers, but I liked this idea a lot so I thought I'd just do this one now. -shrugs-

So anyway, this chapter is for **AuthorAngel** who came up with the idea. :o)

I meant to add this chapter yesterday… but I forgot, sorry… :o/

-Lanna

****

A Pinch of Fairy Dust.

"Do I have to?"

"Yup! You either do the whole dare, or I come up with something different, and it will be worse, much worse" Rose smirked, hands on her hips looking down at her pouting sister.

"Oh fine! But that last part is just mean" The pixie-like vampire said, glaring.

"I know, brilliant isn't it?" Rosalie added, over her shoulder as she walked back over to her family.

Alice sighed in defeat and turned, sprinting at human speed down the aisles. She stopped abruptly, finding what she was looking for and snatched it up before running to the fitting rooms, passing her stunned family on the way.

By the time everyone had turned around and made their way to the fitting rooms, after Alice, she was already walking out…

"Nice costume Alice!" Emmett choked out between fits of laughter.

Alice, just tilted her head to the side and said sarcastically "Call me Tinkerbelle"

This only caused him and everyone else to laugh even harder. Ignoring her family, she straightened up and started skipping mock-happily through the store, occasionally twirling and waving her wand at the people she passed…

Their was a mixed reaction amongst the shoppers, some laughed, some gave her pitying looks clearly thinking she was a few pages short of a book, while others, smiled as if she were a cute little kitten and awed out loud… the latter tending to be the reaction of old ladies.

"Excuse me Sir" Alice said in a child-like voice, as she tapped a woman on the shoulder and when she turned around, the look on her face made it obvious she took offence to being called 'Sir'…

"Yes?" She snapped and Alice visibly flinched, throwing a quick glare in Rosalie's direction who was cracking up at the situation.

"Well I was wondering, could you tell me the directions to Neverland?"

"What?" The woman asked, her annoyed look being replaced by confusion.

"Neverland? How do I get there? I already asked the Barbie's and the Cabbage Patch Kids and they told me to ask you" Alice said hopefully, rocking on the balls of her feet with her hands behind her back.

"Umm… I… Uh, I think that young man over there might know" The woman stammered pointing in some random direction, before hurrying off, throwing concerned glances over her shoulder as she went.

Sticking her tongue childishly out at her laughing family, Alice resumed her skipping and continued asking random people for the directions to Neverland until a girl, about 12 years old finally told her with a smile "Second star to the right and straight on till morning"

Relieved that, that part of her dare was over Alice squealed with delight, thanking the girl before rushing over to the toy department and grabbing a space hopper, and started bouncing up and down the aisles singing happily…

"Following the leader, the leader, the leader  
We're following the leader wherever he may go  
We won't be home till morning, till morning  
We won't be home till morning  
Because he told us so"

After she had bounced her way back to the toy aisle, with her family in pursuit she jumped off the space hopper and shouted "HUZZAH! I found Neverland!"

Skipping down the aisle, she stopped when she reached a girl and said happily "Hello little girl, would you like to meet Peter Pan?"

The girl snorted unattractively saying "As if! I'm sixteen, who the hell are you freak?"

Clearly that was not the right answer to the question, because Alice's eye's faded from topaz to black and she truly looked like a vampire as she said in a deadly quiet voice "Your worst nightmare"

The girl knocked into some shelves as she backed away from the tiny vampire, who at this point looked about 10ft tall as she walked forward slowly, an evil grin on her face.

Coming to a stop in front of the girl she said simply "Boo!" making the girl jump in fright and run away screaming…

Alice turned back to her family and winked, her eyes going back to topaz as she giggled, continuing to skip down the aisle.

"Well this is fun… I actually think she's enjoying it" Emmett said watching the retreating figure wearing a fairy costume.

"Oh but you haven't seen the best part yet… observe!" Rose said mysteriously and walked quickly forward to catch up with Alice.

They had reached the check out's, which were pretty busy, by the time she had caught up with her sister.

Clearing her throat, unnecessarily Rose smirked and said "There's no such thing as fairies!" loud enough for people standing within a 10ft radius to hear.

Right on cue Alice stopped breathing and acted out an overly exaggerated death scene, drawing in quite a crowd, there were gasps and 'oh my gods' heard as she fell to the ground.

"Is she alright?"

"Someone call her an ambulance!" An elderly woman shrieked and Emmett grinned, going over to his sister he shouted down at her "ALICE! You're an ambulance!" earning him a glare from the old lady and a whack upside the head with her handbag.

"She'll be fine" Rose said calming the worried crowd down.

Kneeling down at Alice's side she said "I do believe in fairies, I do, I do" and Alice twitched.

She repeated the line and Alice twitched again, catching on, Bella giggled and started chanting with Rose.

"I do believe in fairies, I do, I do!" They repeated it over and over, pretty soon the whole crowd had joined in.

A grin slowly worked its way onto "unconscious" fairies face, although her eyes remained closed and a few seconds later she sprung back to life, jumping up, causing the crowd to gasp in fright, well… all except for Bella and the other Cullen's, who resumed their previous fit of laughter.

"Thank you, thank you!" Alice said curtsying sweetly, then she danced off towards the fitting rooms again, twirling every second step, leaving behind a very confused and amused group of shoppers in her wake…

"If they ever do another remake of Peter Pan, she'd win the fairy part hands down" Emmett commented as they waited, once again outside the fitting rooms.

"Yuuup, what's taking her so long to change anyway?" Bella asked leaning against Edward side.

"Speak of the fairy and she shall appear" Edward answered just as Alice walked out of the fitting room, dressed in her own clothes again.

"I was thinking-" Alice started only to be interrupted by Emmett.

"Uh-oh! Alice has been thinking, never a good…" He said, but instantly shut up after receiving a death glare from his wife.

"As I was saying" Alice spoke again, shooting a evil look at her brother "Well, as much fun as the past dares have been… maybe we should make things a little more… interesting?"

A/N - Okay, well… there you have it, I hope it was okay… sorry for the sort-of cliffy, it's really nothing major, I just thought that would be a good place to end this chapter and start the next one. :o)

-Lanna


	8. Chapter 8 It's so on

A/N - I am so so sorry for not updating this sooner, I just haven't been in the mood to write proper stories (by proper, I mean not in note-form).

P.s. You should all go read/comment/write in the cbox on my blog (or my shared blog)… that'd make me smile, I ramble about the dumbest things (like why rain pwn's sunshine) haha, anyway, the links are at the top of my profile.

P.p.s. Read the bottom a/n. :o)

-Lanna

****

It's so on.

"What do you mean more interesting?"

"Well… I was just thinking, so far we've only been focussed on embarrassing each other - oh don't pout Emmett, we'll still be doing that, it's just… wouldn't it be fun to see how much we could get away with before we get tossed out?" Alice finished, bouncing excitedly.

"I'm in!" Emmett said excitedly, everyone else following his lead and agreeing as well.

"But… I have one question"

"What Rose?" Jasper said impatiently.

Rosalie glared at her brother before turning to the rest of her family and asking "Well, can we still do some regular dares too? Like the ones we have been doing?"

"Sure, we'll alternate between regular dares and the D.O.D's… now! On with the game, it's my turn to come up with a dare!" Alice squealed happily, missing the mischievous grin her sister threw at Jasper and his look of horror, upon realising why she'd ask the question.

"Umm… D.O.D?" Bella asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, dares of doom" Alice chirped with a wink and nod of her head.

"Well that sounds pleasant" Edward muttered to himself, not noticing his pixie-like sister grinning evilly at him and his fiancé.

Alice skipped happily over to her brother and best friend, wedging herself between them then dragging them away from the rest of the family.

"Alice what the hell?" Edward said in confusion which slowly turned into a look of horror as his sister grinned up at him when they came to a stop, far enough away that the rest of the family wouldn't over hear.

"No! Alice no way, it's too dangerous" He said, upon hearing her thoughts.

"Nonsense"

"She could get hurt, we're not doing it"

"She won't get hurt."

"You don't know that!"

Raising a perfect eyebrow, Alice smirked at her over-protective brother "Of course I know, silly. I already saw it"

Edward groaned in frustration as Bella cleared her throat before talking.

"Umm, would either of you mind telling me what the dare is, because unlike you two I don't have any fancy-pants vampire powers that allow me to know what the hell you're talking about"

"It doesn't matter, it's too dangerous"

"Oh Edward, don't be such a stick in the mud" Alice said bouncing excitedly.

"Wanting to keep my fiancée safe, does not make me a stick in the mud"

"Umm, it kind of does seeing as she isn't in any danger… now why don't we let Bella decide, if she disagrees then fine, I'll come up with something different?"

Edward huffed, pouting slightly before muttering "Fine!"

"Are you going to tell me what has Edward's panties in a bunch now?" Bella asked in frustration.

"My panties are not in a bunch!" Edward shouted a little too loudly, and Emmett's trade-mark booming laughter could be heard echoing about the store, with him choking out "Edward wears panties" between snorts of laughter.

Throwing a glare over in the direction of his brother, Edward mumbled "That is not what I meant!" while pouting.

"Okay, enough of your underwear choices Eddie… Pigeon, the dare is for you and Edward to have a wheelchair race around the store!" Alice said, giving her best friend a doe-eyed Bambi look that could melt even the coldest heart… not that she needed to, she already knew she would get her way.

Bella's face remained blank for a few minutes before a grin slowly worked it's way onto her face as she said "Oh hell yes!"

"Bella! You cannot be serious?!"

"Yes, Edward I am very serious…"

"But what if you get hurt?"

"I won't"

"Fine.. What if you hurt someone else?"

"Oh ye of little faith!" Bella said, winking at her gorgeous vampire fiancé before following Alice in the direction of, where she assumed, the electric wheel chairs were.

"Bell-a!" He groaned in annoyance, making no move to follow.

"You're not scared she'll beat you are you Eddie!" Alice mocked turning to look at her brother and Bella giggled.

His male pride rising up, Edward puffed out his chest and jogged towards Alice and Bella, coming to a stop beside them he grinned mischievously saying "Oh it's so on!"

A/N - Right well, sorry if that chapter kind of sucked (and it's short) I wasn't in the mood to write a chapter but I haven't updated in a while so I thought I should… I was going to write the wheel chair race as part of the chapter but like I said, I'm not in the mood to write but I will try and add it soon. (Definitely this week)

Anyway, the reason I wanted you to read this a/n was so I could tell you… I have a few ideas for more funny stories (I don't know if I'll use them all, but there is one that I'll definitely be doing) but I'm not going to start that until I've finished the Seven Deadly Sins story, there is only 2 chapters left to go with that one. So if you don't have me on author alert already, you should put me on that way you'll know when I post the new story.

Hmm… anyway, I'll shut up now.

-Lanna


	9. Chapter 9 Sneaky

A/N - I'm so not in the mood to write this right now, but I wanted to update 3 of my stories today, so I'm forcing myself to write… if it sucks or isn't as funny as other chapters, then sorry.

P.s. I'm not sure if I was clear in the other chapter when I said wheelchair race, I don't mean like normal wheelchairs I mean the electric ones old people use, that are sort of like… mopeds? I dunno if there is a proper name for them… if there is and you know it tell me in the review and I'll fix the chapter. :o/

-Lanna

****

Sneaky.

"You're so going down Cullen!"

"You think so _Swan?"_

"Oh I _know_ so" Bella giggled, winking at her fiancé who was wearing his trademark smirk.

"Alright, so you know what you have to do?" Alice asked looking at her brother and best friend who were sitting in electric wheelchairs grinning at each other.

"Yup, down the toy aisle, round the clothes racks, past electronics and-"

"First one back here wins" Edward said, finishing Bella's sentence.

Clapping her hands together excitedly, Alice nodded her head and took her position slightly in front of Edward and Bella, in between their wheelchairs.

Rosalie smirked and walked over quickly to Bella and gave her a hug, whispering something quietly in her ear, too quietly for the others to hear, when she pulled back Bella grinned at the blonde vampire and said "Thanks"

Grinning mischievously Rosalie walked back over to Jasper and Emmett who were giving her questioning looks… sure they knew Rose no longer hated Bella, but hugging her? Something had to be wrong.

Noticing the looks she was receiving Rosalie dropped her grin, replacing it with a blank look and said "What? I just wanted to wish her luck" she shrugged, feigning innocence.

Choosing not to pursue the matter any further, Jasper and Emmett turned back to the race that was about to start, not seeing the grin come back onto Rosalie's face the second their backs were turned, or the conspiring wink she gave Bella.

"Ready, set…" Alice said raising her arms in the air, only bringing them down again as the word "Go!" left her lips.

Right on cue, Edward and Bella took off down the aisle, neither one in the lead yet.

Reaching the end of the aisle, Edward rounded the corner smoothly, while Bella clipped the shelve knocking over a few boxes before attempting to catch up to Edward, who had gained a slight lead.

Hearing his fiancée cuss and the sound of the boxes falling, Edward's competitiveness wore off a little and he threw concerned glances back at Bella, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw she was okay… and catching up to him.

His competitive nature firing up again he smirked, pushing the wheelchair faster as he neared the end of the toy aisle, turning the corner he grinned triumphantly until he heard Bella cry out and the sound of something crashing into shelves.

Jumping off the wheelchair before it even had a chance to stop completely, Edward ran a little too quickly around the corner back to the toy aisle.

As he reached the end of the aisle he had to jump up against the shelves to avoid a collision with Bella, who was smirking as she passed him on her wheelchair.

Edward stood, rooted on the spot as Bella turned the corner, speeding off out of sight.

Confused, he looked back down the toy aisle to see Emmett lying on the floor covered in cabbage patch kids, glaring up at his wife.

"Damn it Rose, why'd you push me?!"

"It was an accident" Rosalie giggled, making no attempt to sound convincing as she grinned triumphantly at Edward's confused face.

Realising what had happened Edward cussed under his breath and rushed back to his wheelchair, quickly pushing it to full speed in an attempt to catch up to Bella, who was now firmly in the lead.

Bella looked behind her quickly as she completed her lap of the clothing racks and raced towards the electronics aisle, grinning happily when she confirmed that the plan had worked and Edward was nowhere to be seen.

Growling in frustration at the slowness of the wheelchair, Edward made his way around the clothes racks just in time to see the Bella's brown hair whipping out behind her as she rounded the corner and up the next aisle.

Bella giggled, at the sight of her family standing on the "finishing line" as she came to a stop next to them. Giving Rose a high five when she got off the wheelchair.

"I can't believe it… she actually won"

"Yup, now pay up bro" Jasper smirked holding his outstretched hand toward his brother.

Pouting, Emmett reached into his wallet, handing over what looked like, quite a lot of money.

"Wait… you were betting that I would win?" Bella asked, confused as to why Jasper would believe she could beat Edward.

"Well, yeah I knew Rose was up to something… and I must say, I am impressed, that was very sneaky playing on Edward's one weakness"

"Why thank you" Rosalie said, mock bowing.

"What do you mean his one weakness?" Bella asked, confused.

"_You_, silly" Alice chirped but was interrupted by Emmett's laughter.

Turning to see what Emmett was laughing at, everyone quickly joined him, laughing hysterically at the site of Edward pouting as he drove his wheelchair towards the finish line.

"You don't play fair" Edward said sulking slightly as he hopped off the wheelchair and stood next to the giggling Bella, ignoring his family who were all leaning on each other choking out something about "the look on his face… priceless"

"Never said I would" Bella beamed triumphantly up at him, standing on her tiptoes to peck him on the cheek.

Giving him a doe-eyed Bambi look she asked "Sooo, am I forgiven"

Pulling her closer he whispered in her ear, making her shiver "Of course… but Rosalie on the other hand, not so much… and I do believe it's our turn to dare next"

Smirking Edward looked over Bella's shoulder at his sister, who was still laughing, completely oblivious to the fact he was looking at her, mimicking her earlier mischievous grin.

A/N - Well, there it is… I know it's not that great, but whatever, I'm not in a writing mood and it was either this or make you wait for ages until I actually did feel like writing… in case I wasn't clear, when Rosalie "wished Bella luck" she was actually telling her the plan, and the plan was basically, Rose would make a noise (she did this by pushing Emmett) making it sound like Bella had an accident and Bella would shout out so that Edward would think she was hurt… and then Edward, predictably rushed to her rescue, giving her the chance to take the lead in the race. :o)

Review please:o)

-Lanna


	10. Chapter 10 Slip and Slide

_A/N - I know, I know - I haven't updated in forever, I'm made of evil etc… I would make up an excuse saying I've been too busy, but honestly.. I have had time to write, I've just not been in the mood._

_But! I'm going to attempt to write a chapter now because I haven't updated in so long. And don't worry I'm not abandoning this story - I still have at least 20 more dares (way more than that actually) that I can use, so I have plenty of ideas, I just need to be in the mood to write them._

_-Lanna_

**Slip and Slide.**

"Rose"

"Ahem! Rose!"

"Damn it Rose stop laughing!" Edward huffed, towering over his sister who - like the rest of his family - was doubled over, still laughing at his expense.

"Fine, keep laughing. It'll only make your dare much worse" He said with a smirk when it was clear she had no intention of stopping anytime soon.

"My wha- No! That's not fair" She said, straightening up. "I was only helping Bella win the race, you would've done the same if she was racing against any of us!"

He considered that for a second before his smirk reappeared and he answered, while grabbing her arm and pulling her with him "That may be true, but that doesn't change anything"

Curiosity winning out over amusement, the rest of the family calmed a bit too and looked to Bella who shrugged before they all followed the retreating forms of Edward and Rosalie.

"Wait right here" Edward said, leaving Rose standing at the end of an aisle before running past his family in search of something.

"So what'd he dare you to do?"

"I don't know yet, he just said 'wait here' and took off" Rosalie huffed, glaring in the general direction her brother had run.

Before they had a chance to discuss the matter anymore, Edward came swaggering back down the aisle again - in a way that only he could pull off - trademark smirk in place and hands behind his back.

"Why are you grinning like a Cheshire cat?" Bella asked smiling at him, one eyebrow raised.

"All will be revealed in just a minute, love" He replied, before revealing what he was holding behind his back, and handing the items to his sister.

"Huh? I don't get it" Rose said, eyeing the objects in her hand.

"Edward, you're an evil genius. I never knew you had it in you" Alice said, jumping up and down happily.

"Okay, are you going to fill me in as to why I'm going to need a bottle of water and fairy liquid?" Rose asked impatiently.

Edward wrapped his arms around Bella's waste and placed his chin on her shoulder, as all eyes turned to him expectantly - with the exception of Alice, who continued to bounce of the spot like a kid with ADD.

"Three words Rose - Slip…and…slide." He grinned, pecking Bella on the cheek when he finished speaking.

There was a few minutes silence before chaos erupted, everyone speaking at once.

"Aw! How come Rose gets the fun dare!" Emmett huffed, pouting.

Jasper grinned saying "We are so getting tossed out after this"

"This is going to be awesome!!" Alice exclaimed, while Bella giggled.

"NO WAY! Do you have any idea how much this outfit cost?!" Rosalie screamed, stomping her foot for dramatic effect as she gestured to her outfit.

"Do you really want to be the one who backs out of a dare Rose?" Edward asked with a straight face, but his eyes betraying his amusement. "Besides, Alice has already seen you do it - you really want to bet against her?" He added upon hearing her thoughts about how her outfit was one of a kind from some Italian designer, worth more than her pride that backing out of the dare would cost her.

"I hate you" She huffed, glaring daggers at him as she took the cap off of the fairy liquid.

Five minutes later, Rosalie stood at one end of the aisle, while everyone else stood at the other.

She looked longingly at her outfit again, then turned her eyes to the soaked, soapy floor in front of her. Still pondering the idea of just backing out of the dare.

Emmett, Jasper and Bella watched as she mentally prepared herself to destroy her outfit - missing the conspiring look Edward exchanged with Alice, or the slight nod of his head before she sneaked away from the group quickly.

"Just go already!" Emmett complained, after another five minutes passed, receiving a glare from his wife in response.

Just as Alice, reappeared at Jaspers side in the line they'd formed at the end of the aisle, Rosalie finally backed up a few metres.

"Here goes nothing" She muttered as she ran, throwing herself, stomach first onto the floor - surprisingly still managing to look graceful as she did this.

As she slipped across the wet floor, down the aisle - showing no signs of stopping - Alice pulled Jasper out of the way, and Edward picked Bella up, moving her to the side… leaving only Emmett standing in the way.

Letting out a girl-like squeal the bear-like vampire jumped to the side where his siblings stood.

When he did this, a pyramid of toilet paper was revealed behind him - and Rosalie was headed for a head on collision with it…

Unable to stop in time, the blonde vampire crashed into the pyramid with a scream and they all came toppling down on top of her.

A few minutes of silence passed before everyone burst out laughing and Edward high fived Alice.

"THAT! Was… not… part… of… the… PLAN!!" Rosalie yelled, pushing the numerous rolls off toiled paper off of her.

"Spur of the moment idea, you can thank Alice for that" Edward said composing himself and gesturing towards his pixie-sister.

Alice tried to look innocent between fits of laughter - failing miserably - eventually giving up and choking out that she thought it would be funny.

"Uh-oh" Edward said, picking Bella up and rushing round the corner into the next aisle.

Following his lead, Emmett, Alice and Jasper soon joined them.

They all peeked their heads round the corner in time to see the manager approaching an oblivious Rosalie, who was still sitting amongst the pile of toilet paper, assessing the damage to her outfit.

"Aww crap" Emmett said as Bella gasped.

"Should I give the guy a little dose of calm?" Jasper asked looking up to Edward.

Edward exchanged a glance with Alice, before stifling his laughter and shaking his head saying "She'll be fine on her own"

Shrugging Jasper turned to look back at the scene in front of him.

The manager had reached Rose now, making her snap out of her "my poor outfit" induced trance and jump to her feet.

He glared at the mess of the aisle before turning back to Rosalie, all set to start yelling, but did a double take seeing the gorgeous vampire in front of him… soapy and wet, her top clinging to her figure.

Opening and closing his mouth a few times in an attempt to speak he found himself speechless.

Fighting a grin, Rosalie moved closer to him giving him a seductive yet innocent look that no one but her could do.

"I had a little accident with a bottle of water and some soap" She said, breathing in his face.

His eyes glazed over slightly and he breathed in deeply trying to move closer.

A muffled growl was heard coming form Emmett's general direction as she titled her head to the side, pouting then said "You're not mad are you?"

The manager looked dazed still, as her words slowly sank in.

She batted her eyelashes at him and he realised she was waiting for an answer.

He cleared his throat, but then shook his head, not trusting his voice.

"Thanks gorgeous" Rose giggled, walking away swaying her hips as she went.

She laughed as she reached her family when she heard the manager mutter into his walkie talkie "Clean up on aisle three" still sounding a little out of it.

"Did you seriously just… dazzle that guy so he wouldn't toss us out?" Bella asked in awe.

"Yuuuup - like taking candy from a baby" Rose answered shrugging.

"You better talk to your husband, he's coming up with plots to beat the manager up right now" Edward laughed pointing at Emmett, who was glaring at the spot the manager had stood in with a murderous expression on his face.

Grinning, Rose walked over to him and kissed him in a way that brought PDA to a whole new level.

"Wha- yes, what was the question?" Emmett asked stupidly when she pulled away, showing than even vampires can be dazzled by the right person.

"I don't think he'll have fighting on his mind for quite a while now" Rose smirked.

"No… not fighting" Edward winced, wishing he had kept his mouth shut - preferring the violent mental images to the ones now running through his brothers head.

"Alright… Alice, Bella - follow me!" Rose exclaimed happily.

"You mean - you're daring us next?" Bella asked, hoping that she wouldn't be punished for Edward's dare.

"Noooope, the boys are… and us three are coming up with the dare" Rosalie replied holding out her arms, which Bella and Alice linked theirs through and walked away leaving the three vampire boys behind.

"This is not going to be good" Jasper commented.

They all exchanged worried glances before Edward nodded in concurrence "Nope, not good at all" he grimaced hearing the scenarios running through his sisters minds.

_A/N - Sorry if the chapter sucked, like I said I wasn't in a writing mood… and I kept getting distracted because I was multi tasking between writing it and talking in 4 MSN convos - and seriously, I cannot multi task at all._

_-Lanna_


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